By Maryam Sadaf Delavarzi
Translated by Asadullah Jafari “Pezhman”
So, a few days passed, and during this time, we were so anxious that we neither ate nor slept adequately. My father and Sodaba were outside the house looking for Elaha, and I was also distracted at home. Finally, after a few days, when Sodaba and I were sitting at home, knocking on the door was heard. I remember how quickly Sodaba and I went to the house’s gate. We opened the gate; we saw that Elaha was standing behind the gate. Elaha was standing behind the door with crying eyes, a frightened face, and a pale appearance. Her eyes were still fixed on the ground, and she was sobbing and sobbing.
I had never seen Elaha like that. Elaha was not someone who cried easily; she was solid. I remember very well that I had seen this confused, crying state of Elaha only when my mother passed away on July 20, 2017. Sodaba and I hurriedly screamed and shouted, What’s wrong with you, Elaha?
These days, we searched for you a lot, Elaha!
Where have you been?
These days, we searched for you a lot, Elaha!
Where were you?
What happened to you, tell us please?
We asked these questions out of frustration and confusion while Elaha stood behind the door. Sodaba brought Elaha into the courtyard of the house, and she was still asking the same questions to Elaha in a disgusted voice. Elaha still had her eyes fixed on the ground and was sobbing under her scarf. While I was near the yard gate, I noticed a vehicle from the armed Taliban group with a woman stopped in the alley a little further away. And the Taliban fighters stared at the gate of our house, and they saw me.
I got scared when I saw Taliban fighters.
I was afraid. I closed the house door.
Sodaba took Elaha into the room.
As I was just about to go to the hall, a feeling of curiosity came to my mind; I turned back to the gate of the house yard. My Chadar_Scarf was around my neck, so I put it on my head. I hid my face with a corner of my Chadar so that my face would not be seen. From the corner of the door, I saw the armed Taliban with the vehicle and the same woman still standing and looking towards the door of our house, and this time, they saw me from outside as well.
I was petrified! I quickly closed the door and pushed aside my Chadar, and I don’t know with what haste I ran towards the room where Sodaba and Elaha were sitting. I said in a loud and scary voice: “Sodaba! Armed Taliban are looking at our house”. Sodaba was more terrified than me; Sodaba asked Elaha with tears and heavy anger:
Where have you been, Elaha?
Do you know that we have searched for you a lot?
Why are you crying, tell me…?
So, Sodaba was trying to calm Elaha; she was sitting near her, but Elaha was still crying with all intensity. I was standing further away, and I was saying to myself, I have to go and see if the armed Taliban are still there or have they left. At that moment, I suddenly noticed Elaha’s hands, which were bruised entirely; I went near her and said, why are your hands bruised? Out of fear and sadness, I removed her Chadar, and what I saw was unbearable. Her whole body, neck, and hands were bruised. I remember hastily removing her coat, realizing her entire body was bruised. The shoulders, hands, waist, and finally, the whole body of Elaha were bruised by successive tortures—something like (blood clots and deep bruises).
Sodaba, my sister, was very scared; my anger increased every moment. I don’t know what kind of heavy scream I remember. I felt my throat get scratched, and I shouted:
Who beat and injured you like this?
Who did beat and hurt you, tell me?
These are torture marks on your body!
Who has tortured you?
Tell me, Elaha?
I was constantly shaking and asking Elaha. Sodaba was looking with fear and crying; Elaha was about to faint from the intensity of crying and anxiety. Finally, with the insistence of me and my sister Sodaba, Elaha told us everything. I remember VERY well the sound of Elaha’s sobbing, Elaha’s trembling hands, her eyes that were like a bowl of blood, and her clothes that still had traces of torture on them, and I will never forget them.
Those sounds of wailing and crying shake every conscience. Elaha said about Qari Saeed Khosti’s rape of herself and that the senior members of the Haqqani network, fearing that the matter of Saeed Khosti’s rape on Elaha would be revealed, had forced Elaha to marry Qari Saeed Khosti in the Taliban intelligence jail.
When Elaha spoke with tears and anger that weighed down her voice, I don’t know how easily the words flowed from my eyes in my mind. I don’t get upset easily, but that bitter incident significantly hurt me.
Who would understand Elaha? I still remember those tears and the sound of crying; it still rings in my ears. God himself saw how our hatred had exploded. I wish that dark day would never dawn in our life. Our stature was standing against the mountains, was bent over anymore.
Who understands the tears of Elaha, the situation of Elaha that set our hearts on fire? This fire will remain lit in our lives forever. Even if Qari Saeed Khosti dies a thousand times, revives a thousand times, and dies again, the fire in our hearts and our anger will not subside. All, the fire of our hearts will not cool down; the fire of our hearts and our anger will not be extinguished with the death of Qari Saeed Khosti.
It is not an easy task for a girl to tell her younger sisters about how a Taliban named Qari Saeed Khosti raped her in the intelligence prison of the Taliban Ministry of Interior. Where he raped her, and how severely he raped her. Yeah! It is sad and heartbreaking. It was hard for Elaha to say this issue, but it was difficult for me and Sodaba to digest it. It was as if the sky had suddenly fallen to the ground. I remember that my heart was beating fast, and a strange fear that I could not say had ruled me.
Since that day, we have learned that Qari Saeed Khosti had sexually assaulted Mrs. Elaha. Leave the fear in its place, but who would understand Elaha, who had suffered such a fate? Elaha’s health situation significantly deteriorated. The severe torture in the intelligence prison and the repeated sexual assault of Qari Saeed Khosti on Elaha had seriously damaged her physically. Her condition was such that she could faint at any moment; torture and repeated sexual assaults weakened Elaha’s body. So, Elaha said she wanted to sleep, so we heated the room and let her sleep.
On the very first day, when Elaha arrived at the Taliban checkpoint in Qala-e Najara of Kabul city, she was arrested by the Taliban and taken to the Taliban police station. After some intense inquiries about her and her family, the reason was that Elaha had gone to the market_bazaar alone. She had her mobile phone with her, and the Taliban took Elaha to prison after checking her mobile phone. Like hundreds of other girls, we hear about daily, they were imprisoned. Afterward, the Taliban transferred Elaha to the Ministry of Interior Intelligence Prison. The Taliban had looked at all the photos of the security forces on Elaha’s mobile phone.
Qari Saeed Khosti also saw Elaha there. Elaha was not among the protesting women and did not collaborate with any group or party. She had just gone to the market for shopping when Elaha was taken to the Ministry of Interior intelligence prison and locked in a dark room after interrogation, investigation, beatings, and torture by the intelligence women of the Taliban Ministry of Interior. Then Qari Saeed Khosti went to Elaha in the prison, and he sexually assaulted her in the same prison. Elaha was in a bad and miserable state. After some time, Saeed Khosti left that dungeon and went elsewhere.
It to be continued…